This time of year...

Dickens had it right when he said "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  I fully agree.  I love this time of year more then people can comprehend.  I love the colors, the smells, the weather (although yes I want to cry when driving in snow), the sounds and the company.

People wonder why or how I can listen to Christmas music so early or want to decorate so early.  I will tell you why.  Christmas time for me is not about presents or things of that sort.  To me it is so much more.  It is the time that I get to remember my amazing childhood, the fondest memories, the greatest times of my life.  The colors, the joy, happiness, music...they all remind me of those times that I got to spend with family and friends.  I hear a Christmas song playing and I think of those times and it fills me with so much joy that I can't help but smile.  My heart warms and fills with all this emotion and love.  How could I not want something that brings me that joy around?

Now why do I say it was the worst of times you ask?  It's knowing things will never be the same.  It's knowing I am too poor to fly home for Thanksgiving or Christmas.  It's growing up.

It shouldn't be a surprise to many people that I wish I was younger again and back with my family.  I miss them more than anything.  We grow up, my siblings create their own families and I sit back and watch.  I am happy for them and I like how our family is growing but I still miss those times.  I miss it all.  I guess that is why it is hard for me to grow up, hard for me to face that fact that I just keep getting older and try as I might...I just can't go back.

That is why I love Christmas.  That is why I listen to Christmas music so early and want to decorate and fill every space with Christmas joy.  It gives me part of my past, it reminds me of those times and that as much as things will change...I will still have those memories and my family with me...forever. :)

So please, when I turn on the music before Thanksgiving or spout of my love for Christmas like a crazy lunatic...just let me do it.  :)  Sometimes it's just what I need...

Mom, Dad, Jennifer, Miranda, Vernon Lee, Austin, Brianna, Colby, Amity, Shilo and Daniel...I love you all more than words can say. :)  I hope you all know that.

And to my friends...I love you all dearly too and I am glad that I have some of you here when I have to be away from my family.  Thanks for all you do.